um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
