I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have already put on my inside pants.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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