Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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