tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's like a pop up book from hell.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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