we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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