it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
