would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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