Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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