I want to have your abortion
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
