if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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