Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
