I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
