I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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