one word: firstdatebathroomanal
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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