An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
