At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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