Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
