i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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