Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
