I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
