so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
