She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
