pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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