Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize