Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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