Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
