Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize