I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize