my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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