i just google imaged poop.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
