I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
