Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just blew my weed a kiss
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Randomize
