I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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