You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
