Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
