So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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