It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i think i just lost a toe
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
