If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
