question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
