Plan B is the new Plan A
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
