I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
