I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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