So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
