the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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