Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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