i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize