Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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