fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
