I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
