I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
