Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
