Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
