if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize