You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
