Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
