Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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