Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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