If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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