i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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